I think it's pretty fair to say that most psychologists-to-be, as they finish their training, are rather high-minded about the types of jobs they will and won't go for. They're all about the healing, dude, and they're not going to be told what to do by some stuffed shirt in a huge faceless corporation, and if anyone tries to get in their way then that's just TOO DARN BAD.

I'm quite self-righteous at the best of times, so you can imagine MY views on the whole thing. However, the part of my brain that says "be true to yourself, don't be a sellout" is slowly being eaten by the part that says "oh noes you'll never get a job and will be living ON THE STREET," and so I've decided that perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to...shall we say, broaden my net just a little as I search for a job that will keep me in mouthwash and Gilmore Girls DVDs. This TOTALLY isn't selling out, before you ask.

Which is just as well, as a couple of days ago I had a "casual chat" with Big Boss Man of Faceless Corporation arranged for me by Woman Who Rejected My Application But Decided to Force Me Onto Someone Else (Not in That Way). She called me to let me know that I wasn't successful in my application to her company, but would I let her pass on my details to someone else? I said sure. She rang about three minutes later saying that BBM would like to meet with me tomorrow as he was just about to go on leave, would that be possible. I said no, because I had placement all day. WWRMABDTFMOSE(NITW) said she could arrange the chat for 5.30PM, giving me ample time to get to where I had to be. I ran out of excuses and said that would be fine. She said she would email me further details later that afternoon.

That night I checked my mail and there lay the promised cyber-missive. The details enclosed suggested that my "casual chat" would be not so much a "casual" affair as a gruelling test of endurance that would require me to prove my worth at some length. "It is IMPORTANT that you are prepared and can name times during which you have shown INITIATIVE; team and individual LEADERSHIP; ORGANISATION and PLANNING"...The RANDOM capitals of DOOM just went on and on, outlining about one BILLION ways in which I would be required to prove I was fabulous and an asset to every team.

Also attached was a "brief" job description (which actually sounded as if it could be quite challenging and, dare I say it, rewarding) that included the requirement "participation in team-building 'fun days'" (quotation marks author's own). This concerned me, and apparently it concerned my psyche as well because that night I was plagued by a creepy dream where I was shown through this olde-worlde-style building with faded fleur-de-lys wallpaper and unimpressed floorboards that my tourguide was valiantly attempting to pass off as a "modern and cutting-edge work environment." THEN I was shown into a wide open space resembling a rifle range and was shown one of these fun days in action; it seemed to consist mainly of people with rugby balls getting piledriven into the ground. After this, a group of swarthy neaderthals (who looked strangely like a whole lot of people I went to school with, except with better haircuts and in suits, even though they'd just been playing rugby...symbolism? Probably not) swaggered past, promising to "make things REEEAL difficult" for me if I decided to work there, to which I replied "well, thanks. At least I won't get my hopes up," which at the time I was rather proud of as it seemed rather ballsy and assertive, even though it doesn't make much sense in the grim light of day.

After all of this, I finally woke up, thinking "well, at least THAT'S over," before realising that the damn thing hadn't even HAPPENED yet and that nothing had changed except for a drastic depletion of my adrenaline reserves.

So, after a day of sweating it out and trying to subtly look up "relevant literature" on the interweb at placement (which wasn't easy, having to enter my as-yet-unmemorised password every three seconds), I made my way into the city and towards the big intimidating building where my casual chat OF DEATH would take place. I wasn't going to wear a tie at first, but I got intimidated by their high density as I made my way to reception and put it on the mirrored elevator because I couldn't find a freakin' bathroom...sophisticated businesspeople apparently don't have to pee, so if I ever get a job I can look forward to a catheter-filled future.

In the end, my casual chat Interview of DOOOOM! was, in fact, a casual chat and yet ANOTHER complete waste of adrenaline. Fifteen minutes later I was back on the street, although not before tangling my bag in the legs of the chair and feeling like something of an idiot. However, because this is pretty much my regular state of being, maybe it all went okay? Watch this space.